However these moments were short lived and we now look back on our time travelling together with the rose tinted spectacles we hoped for when going through the inevitable challenging times on our adventure.
After moving to another marina in Barcelona and packing as much stuff as possible we flew back to the UK on the 22nd October 2018, eager to start our new life "Up North" close to my family in Leeds. We flew into Leeds Bradford Airport to be welcomed by family who I think still didn't really believe we had decided to move "home". It was one week before half term and the "to do list" was somewhat daunting:
- Enrol kids into school
- Buy uniform
- Find a rental house
- Buy a car
- Find jobs
- Finalise arrangements for shipping Laurin home on a truck.
- Find a house to buy
With one week to go before half term we prioritised a visit to the local school.... the same one their cousins attend and the same one I spent many happy years at as a child. It's ethos was a perfect match for us with a priority on emotional wellbeing over results. We were sold! Then started the surprisingly difficult task of buying uniform in October. It took many visits to multiple shops to complete the shopping list as stock was somewhat depleted after the pre-September rush. Rental house viewing was the next on the list as living with Mum and Dad could only ever be a short term solution. We had put aside 6 months worth of living expenses as a contingency fund for our return which was just as well, as letting agencies wanted 6 months rent up front in lieu of employment and affordability checks. We quickly established that after 8 years of sharing a room, and then a cabin, the kids were ready for their own space, and on the morning of viewing an "ok" place another much better place came on the market but we couldn't move in until the beginning of December. After quick discussion with Mum and Dad we decided it was worth the wait. Living all together was going better than we anticipated and extending this to 6 weeks seemed ok.... and it was ok, although a few weeks in we made a very welcome trip to Wales to see our good friends Jim and Lynn for a weekend which broke it up a bit (it was lovely to see them and a great delight that they were only 2 1/2 hours away if we avoided rush hour around Manchester).
Job seeking was an ongoing task with Patrick chasing roles similar to those he had held down south, and I trying to develop a tutoring business. Late November Patrick and I flew back to Barcelona to put Laurin on the back of a truck for her journey home, and then the following weekend hired a van and drove to Essex to meet her and unload the remains of our possessions and pick up some furniture from our old house in Essex which is being rented to a friend. On our return we picked up the keys to our "new" house and moved in, just in time to spend Christmas in our own home... a first for me and the kids as we have always travelled up north to spend time with family... this time we could see family yet still wake up in our own beds.
At this point we still weren't too worried about jobs.... I had a couple of tutees and Patrick had a few irons in the fire in terms of job opportunities. However as time went on the job situation started to look a little bleak with rejection after rejection being somewhat depressing. Patrick's role at Essex County Council had been almost created for him over the 20+ years he had been there where-as Local Authorities up north expected employees of his level of technical experience also to manage people which Patrick had never really been required to do.
My main concern when deciding to take the plunge and turn our dream of travelling with kids into a reality was not finding jobs on our return and having our nest egg chipped away at for normal living expenses. My concerns were somewhat allayed by Patrick saying he'd be happy to stack shelves in Morrisons if needed and the knowledge we already knew we could live on a tight budget if necessary. In reality people were not prepared to give those jobs to Patrick as they (quite rightly) thought he was over qualified and just taking the job until something better came along. We both signed up to temping agencies and I got some work invigilating exams while Patrick got just a couple of days warehouse work. We started to consider full time engineering roles for me which was not something we really wanted and the job search widened geographically, to the point where we were considering a 90 minute commute which was something we have always avoided with a passion.
Finally we had a small breakthrough with me getting a part time Lab Technician role at Bradford Grammar, a well respected independent school just 25 minutes drive away. This, combined with the now growing tutoring business meant that we could make our savings last much longer, however the lack of job prospects for Patrick was starting to have a real impact on his emotional wellbeing and I think we were both beginning to question the sanity of giving up secure employment for our "Big Adventure". The only thing that really kept us going at this time was that the kids were really enjoying being near extended family and were enjoying school much more than they did down south. Right when we were as close to breaking point as I'd ever want to be Patrick landed a role as a Construction Technician at the University of Leeds. A relatively easy role compared with previous jobs but it was an opportunity to get back to real, hands on engineering whilst still using his technical skills and nice to have a change. It is also a 35 hour week and good holidays, (not as great as mine at Bradford Grammar, but enough to have a week sailing at Easter and Spring Bank as well as 4 weeks in the Summer and some time off at Christmas..... although this year's summer cruise will be shorter as Patrick hasn't had time to accrue enough holiday for our normal month away).
By this time we had started to make friends, though this was a lot slower than anticipated. In the cruising community (or at least when cruising with kids) deep friendships are formed really quickly. The friends we made whilst away, I'm sure will be friends for life... perhaps not chatting for months or even years, but the kind of friendships where we could meet up in years to come and it would be like we had never parted. Moving back up north was like moving to a completely new area. Very few of my childhood friends are still here and everybody already has their own friendship groups. The kids' cousins who used to want to be around AJ and Esmé every minute they were up north, very quickly became bored of being their only friends, and the dynamics in their relationships changed. Not better, not worse, just different. Patrick and I had to adjust to having close family nearby, of people just dropping by... not something that happened down south, of being called upon to help out and also having family we could rely on to help us out if need be. I signed up to be a parent governor at the kids' school, and we joined the Yorkshire Dales Sailing Club... I took dinghy sailing lessons. AJ started Cubs and Esmé Brownies as well as gymnastics, then AJ and his new friend Leo joined our local Yeadon Sailing Club where Tuesday evenings were spent 2 or 3 kids to a topper dinghy having lots of fun capsizing time and time again.
Finally it was the end of the school year. The kids reports showed us that despite the 17 months out of formal school, they are making good progress and are at the same or better level relative to their peers as they were before we left. They are more confident and self aware than they could ever have been had we not gone away, and they have stories and memories that will last a lifetime. As a family we know each other better than ever having spent so much time together and this has certainly helped me to help them reintegrate into "normal" life. We are financially stable again and are now looking to buy our "forever house" up north. Over all, despite earning less, we are more content and less stressed than in our previous life which can largely be attributed to the change of perspective travelling as a family has given us.
Having spent Easter and May half term putting Laurin back together again the kids and I are now back on board, enjoying using her as a base to visit old friends and to take part in the Royal Burnham Cadet Week before Patrick and cousin Oliver join us for our 2 week summer cruise.
Job seeking was an ongoing task with Patrick chasing roles similar to those he had held down south, and I trying to develop a tutoring business. Late November Patrick and I flew back to Barcelona to put Laurin on the back of a truck for her journey home, and then the following weekend hired a van and drove to Essex to meet her and unload the remains of our possessions and pick up some furniture from our old house in Essex which is being rented to a friend. On our return we picked up the keys to our "new" house and moved in, just in time to spend Christmas in our own home... a first for me and the kids as we have always travelled up north to spend time with family... this time we could see family yet still wake up in our own beds.
At this point we still weren't too worried about jobs.... I had a couple of tutees and Patrick had a few irons in the fire in terms of job opportunities. However as time went on the job situation started to look a little bleak with rejection after rejection being somewhat depressing. Patrick's role at Essex County Council had been almost created for him over the 20+ years he had been there where-as Local Authorities up north expected employees of his level of technical experience also to manage people which Patrick had never really been required to do.
My main concern when deciding to take the plunge and turn our dream of travelling with kids into a reality was not finding jobs on our return and having our nest egg chipped away at for normal living expenses. My concerns were somewhat allayed by Patrick saying he'd be happy to stack shelves in Morrisons if needed and the knowledge we already knew we could live on a tight budget if necessary. In reality people were not prepared to give those jobs to Patrick as they (quite rightly) thought he was over qualified and just taking the job until something better came along. We both signed up to temping agencies and I got some work invigilating exams while Patrick got just a couple of days warehouse work. We started to consider full time engineering roles for me which was not something we really wanted and the job search widened geographically, to the point where we were considering a 90 minute commute which was something we have always avoided with a passion.
Finally we had a small breakthrough with me getting a part time Lab Technician role at Bradford Grammar, a well respected independent school just 25 minutes drive away. This, combined with the now growing tutoring business meant that we could make our savings last much longer, however the lack of job prospects for Patrick was starting to have a real impact on his emotional wellbeing and I think we were both beginning to question the sanity of giving up secure employment for our "Big Adventure". The only thing that really kept us going at this time was that the kids were really enjoying being near extended family and were enjoying school much more than they did down south. Right when we were as close to breaking point as I'd ever want to be Patrick landed a role as a Construction Technician at the University of Leeds. A relatively easy role compared with previous jobs but it was an opportunity to get back to real, hands on engineering whilst still using his technical skills and nice to have a change. It is also a 35 hour week and good holidays, (not as great as mine at Bradford Grammar, but enough to have a week sailing at Easter and Spring Bank as well as 4 weeks in the Summer and some time off at Christmas..... although this year's summer cruise will be shorter as Patrick hasn't had time to accrue enough holiday for our normal month away).
By this time we had started to make friends, though this was a lot slower than anticipated. In the cruising community (or at least when cruising with kids) deep friendships are formed really quickly. The friends we made whilst away, I'm sure will be friends for life... perhaps not chatting for months or even years, but the kind of friendships where we could meet up in years to come and it would be like we had never parted. Moving back up north was like moving to a completely new area. Very few of my childhood friends are still here and everybody already has their own friendship groups. The kids' cousins who used to want to be around AJ and Esmé every minute they were up north, very quickly became bored of being their only friends, and the dynamics in their relationships changed. Not better, not worse, just different. Patrick and I had to adjust to having close family nearby, of people just dropping by... not something that happened down south, of being called upon to help out and also having family we could rely on to help us out if need be. I signed up to be a parent governor at the kids' school, and we joined the Yorkshire Dales Sailing Club... I took dinghy sailing lessons. AJ started Cubs and Esmé Brownies as well as gymnastics, then AJ and his new friend Leo joined our local Yeadon Sailing Club where Tuesday evenings were spent 2 or 3 kids to a topper dinghy having lots of fun capsizing time and time again.
Finally it was the end of the school year. The kids reports showed us that despite the 17 months out of formal school, they are making good progress and are at the same or better level relative to their peers as they were before we left. They are more confident and self aware than they could ever have been had we not gone away, and they have stories and memories that will last a lifetime. As a family we know each other better than ever having spent so much time together and this has certainly helped me to help them reintegrate into "normal" life. We are financially stable again and are now looking to buy our "forever house" up north. Over all, despite earning less, we are more content and less stressed than in our previous life which can largely be attributed to the change of perspective travelling as a family has given us.
Having spent Easter and May half term putting Laurin back together again the kids and I are now back on board, enjoying using her as a base to visit old friends and to take part in the Royal Burnham Cadet Week before Patrick and cousin Oliver join us for our 2 week summer cruise.
About time too ����
ReplyDeleteKaren, this was so refreshingly honest to read. There are always going to be so many emotions involved in big life changes and I'm glad you took your time to reflect on them and write this.
ReplyDeleteHi Karen, thank you for sharing. I was curious about how you guys are doing. I sometimes worry about our transition back to normal life, if we can ever be normal anyway! I'm glad to see you guys all came through so well.
ReplyDelete