Fat Girl (Dinghy) Sailing - My Story!

So… I did a thing…. It took 7 years until I felt “ready enough” and even then, I wasn’t actually confident…. I’d just run out of excuses…  although according to a good friend, actually the only person that didn’t know I was ready was me!

My journey from overweight, middle aged yacht sailor who hated “small boats that fall over” to overweight middle aged ACTUAL Dinghy Instructor has been exactly that… a journey.

Along the way I’ve scoured the internet for help and advice on (amongst other things):

• ·       How to find sailing kit if you are a short-arsed, plus sized lady
  
  
• ·       How the hell to get back on a dinghy after a capsize if your power to weight ratio is worse than a sloth
  
  
• ·       And which buoyancy aid fits best if you have your own personal buoyancy built in “up front”.

I was hoping for some inspiration from something similar to “Fat Girl Running” but it seems that generally fat girls don’t sail… at least not in dinghies… or if they do then they don’t write about it! I thought about writing a blog many times along the way… the one I did whilst travelling in our big boat even won us a prize… but somehow, I was never confident enough that I would make it to “confident dinghy sailor” let alone DI and didn’t want to publicly humiliate myself if I didn’t. Now it’s time to write what would have been helpful for me to read along the way.

The conversation started in Greece in the summer of 2018… we’d been travelling on Laurin, our Contest 32CS Ketch with our two kids for about a year, and we were trying to work out what “normal life” might look like once we stopped pretending we were adventurous sea gypsies. Our kids had been born and raised in Essex, but my northern roots were pulling me back to Leeds. My husband, Patrick had never lived that far from the sea and sailing was obviously a huge part of our lives. It soon became very clear that the trade-off for moving “up north” was that we start dinghy sailing…. Leeds is definitely too far from the sea for us to get our sailing fix entirely from big boats. We spent a little time at a water sports club on Lefkada with the kids where I sailed a Laser 2000….  to my surprise it actually wasn’t terrible.

Once we had returned to “normal life” (and done the essential stuff like find a school, car, house etc) the next step was to find somewhere to sail. Whilst Yeadon Sailing Club was only 5 minutes up the road, and would be a perfect place for the kids to learn to sail, we had already identified Yorkshire Dales Sailing Club as a place that would satisfy Patrick’s need for as big a body of water as possible. When we went to take a look on a clear December day, we received a warm welcome and were immediately invited to join them for the Christmas Lunch that was being prepared in the Galley. At that point, the fact that they ran great training and had a good selection of well-maintained boats was of secondary importance, we just wanted somewhere bigger than a puddle to sail and to meet new friends.

Next up was to find some sailing kit that was suitable for Yorkshire Dales rather than Greek Islands. Ladies’ wetsuits were too small and men’s were too long… I couldn’t even just cut off the bottom of the legs as they all had knee reinforcement that reached down to my ankles. It looked like a men’s shorty was going to be the only option until a visit to our old sailing club in Burnham came up trumps. It looked like it had been manufactured in the dark ages, but the Longjohn wetsuit we found in their second-hand sale did actually kind of fit. We also found an enormous (even for me!) spray top which did a great job of covering up all the bits that made me feel like a beached whale. It wasn’t particularly comfortable and it certainly didn’t look pretty but at least I had something to wear.

Year 1: 2019

I don’t remember much about the first sails I had at Yorkshire Dales before we bought our own Laser 2000… except that the instructors were all kind. But I do remember the time I managed to capsize a Comet and send my now good friend Steve for a swim. I have very clear memories of swimming after the other trainee’s hat which he had lost in the capsize, and NOT staying with the boat which I am SURE Steve would have told me to do before we went out on the water. In hindsight, it’s no wonder I couldn’t remember a single thing I’d been told about capsizing. My brain had taken the whole topic and labelled it ABSOLUTELY NOT! Very quickly Steve told me that I would be “absolutely fine” to jump straight to “adult improvers” training…. I was not so sure.

The rest of year one I spent sailing with Patrick on our “new to us” Laser 2000, both within Wolfi’s Adult Improver sessions, and independently. The improvers group were really friendly, but I felt by far the least experienced with a frightening amount still to learn. The original plan had been that I would helm, as I felt that the chance of me hiking was somewhere between slim and zero. Very quickly I realised that I very definitely preferred crewing and had a low tolerance for both wind strength and boat speed. It felt like we’d gone back 18 years to when I started sailing big boats and yet again Patrick was the more experienced one trying to teach newbie me. That was extremely painful first time round and I was keen to quickly get through this phase and on to a situation where we were sailing as equals, just as we do on Laurin.

 

Year 2: 2020

Covid threatened to interrupt my dinghy sailing progress, but luckily Yorkshire Dales Sailing Club were extremely on the ball when it came to re-opening. The club was a real lifeline to us as a family who were all furloughed/off school. At the same time, Yeadon Sailing Club were struggling with volunteer capacity to write risk assessments so I volunteered Patrick so that there was a chance that our son would be able to continue his sailing journey there.

It very soon became clear that sailing at Yorkshire Dales would soon resume, but that changing rooms would be out of bounds. The thought of squeezing my body into my stiff, second-hand wetsuit in public was enough to send me on a search for a drysuit. Trident came up trumps by offering a reasonably priced made to measure service, so Patrick and I spent a fun morning measuring all parts of my oversized body before emailing them to Trident for them to do their thing. As the temperature quickly became unusually warm, I then went on a search for something to wear underneath the drysuit that was considerably cooler than the fleecy “teddy” that came with the drysuit. Wetsuit Outlet helped here with Gill Hydrophobe leggings and thermal top. These were thin enough that the extra length wasn’t a huge problem as I just looked like I had wrinkly legs and arms. They also had the added advantage that they could also be worn under a wetsuit too which, along with the ever-increasing daytime temperatures, got me reluctantly revisiting the wetsuit idea.

I then found the absolutely amazing guys at North Coast Wetsuits. They had exactly what I had been looking for…. a Longjohn wetsuit without reinforced knees. This meant that I could cut the bottoms of the legs off to make it fit. (They will now adjust legs and arms on all their wetsuits for you for a small charge). Armed with all my measurements from the Trident fitting, I emailed them to see if anything would fit. They called me back having measured all dimensions of their biggest wetsuit, and it seemed it would be just too small, but they were genuinely lovely people and handled my call really sensitively. I’d just about given up on the wetsuit idea when they called me back and the guy at the end of the phone excitedly told me that actually these wetsuits are really stretchy, so he’d gone back and remeasured it in its fully stretched state. There would be plenty of room! Once it arrived it was so lovely and soft compared to my “made in the dark ages” second hand torture device that it wasn’t too ridiculous to imagine wriggling into it outside at the club. I also had an oversized “made to measure rash vest” that my cousin had made for me earlier in the year before lockdown although suitable tops can now be found on Amazon. I was finally ready for sailing to re-start.

Buddy sailing started up and quickly became the highlight of our week. We would drive up to Yorkshire Dales, enjoy the fact that we could access the toilet in the clubhouse and feel safe due to the precautions put in place by the committee (doors open, hand sanitiser everywhere and strict instructions on how to wipe down surfaces after use, as well as keys for single handed boats available and free for club members). We’d rig a topper for the kids to share, rig the 2000, push the kids off and then quickly launch the 2000 to sail in company with them. More often than not, another club member on the water would circle them until we were out on the water. With no safety boat everybody looked out for each other, kids struggling to get back up wind on windsurfers were towed by more experienced double handers, and those struggling to pull their boat back up the hill after sailing were replaced by stronger hands. We were always sailing well within our ability due to the lack of safety cover, so I had none of my usual “it’s too windy” anxiety which was fantastic.

Improver training throughout 2020 and into 2021 was a little sporadic whilst we were in and out of various lockdowns and rule changes, but Wolfi always kept in touch and tried to keep an eye on the wellbeing of his “flock”. I made slow but steady progress and got a little less fearful of capsize… but only as long as Patrick was helming as I trusted he could right the boat and scoop me up. This also meant that my tolerance for speed and wind increased too. I even kind of started to almost hike… but never while helming and always with one arm round the shroud.

 

Year 3: 2021

This was the year that I really lost the plot…. and then made progress. Patrick got it into his head that sailing together whilst I was learning was doing nothing for either marital harmony or to improve my sailing. Sat in the car ready to leave the club after one particularly stressful improvers session, he announced that he was going to tell Wolfi to find me someone else to sail with. I was horrified and burst into tears at the thought of sailing with somebody else. I was extremely embarrassed about my size and my perceived inability to haul myself back in the boat if it capsized….  but I didn’t want to admit this to anybody except Patrick. As we drove past the clubhouse Patrick slowed down, and to my absolute fury, rolled down the car window and started talking to Wolfi about me sailing with somebody else next time.  It was obviously such a traumatic experience that I have no idea what Wolfi said, but I’m pretty sure he had no idea how to respond as I was clearly not on board with this idea (understatement of the century).

The next session Wolfi had worked some magic, and I was paired with an experienced female helm he had roped in as a helper and for once I felt safe sailing without Patrick…. but this was a one off, and I was very aware that the next session I would need to pair up with another trainee….. (utterly terrifying as in my mind trainees were more likely to capsize, and more likely to be unable to right the boat scooping me up with it).

Clearly, I now had no option but to own the fact that I felt I needed to sail with somebody who could comfortably right the boat… with me in it because I couldn’t do this for myself! Luckily for me, when I spoke up… A new face, Adam very kindly volunteered and from then on was my regular partner in crime. He was patient when I helmed, happy to take over when I was anxious, and even immediately “wolf whistled” Wolfi over in the safety boat when I needed to step out entirely.

It was around this time that I started to “help out” at Yeadon Sailing Club on Tuesday nights…. Initially just when they were short of instructors, I would take one or two new people out… I still wasn’t confident gybing but I could take newbies out for a sail on a light airs day and get them tacking. Jackie, the juniors’ instructor at Yeadon kept nurturing me along… teaching me just enough to get me through each week’s session. People liked sailing with me, and I found I enjoyed introducing new starters to sailing.

 

Year 4: 2022

There had been some (socially distanced, masked, and still somewhat interrupted) winter training over the winter of 21/22, so unlike previous years I didn’t quite feel like I was starting from scratch come Easter of 2022. However, I still felt like I had to think too much about tacking and gybing, more than occasionally fell over in the boat…  and in general, was still far from the “unconscious competence” that I wanted to feel. A recent addition to the improver instructor team picked up on this, and with incredible patience and tact, first convinced me that I wouldn’t capsize a boat sat on a trolley if I climbed on it to do land drills, and second, worked with me to find techniques that worked for me.

I think it was this year that I also started to tackle the “fear of capsize” gremlin although this was going to be a long process. I desperately wanted to feel comfortable enough to take “non-sailors” sailing at Yorkshire Dales, but felt limited by my inability to recover a capsize and get back in the boat. Google was definitely not my friend when trying to find a solution online, but then I remembered that I’d had a similar issue with stand up paddleboarding and had finally solved this by using a loop of rope to put my foot into to help me back on. (Not that I’ve ever managed to stand up successfully for long but at least I feel more comfortable trying now I know I can get back on, although definitely not gracefully). Perhaps a similar system could also help with a dinghy? Now feeling more comfortable with my fellow “Improver” trainees, I asked for their opinions, only to be met with “oh yeah… I saw an old boy use this method at another club”. If only I’d asked earlier!

Adam gallantly offered to give it a try with me whilst a safety boat stood by. First up was some time in the shallows working out the best length of loop. The 2000 has an open transom so we decided my best chance of getting in was over the stern. Once out on the reservoir, I dropped in the water leaving Adam on board, just to try out my loop…. It worked! We then capsized and although unable to climb on the centreboard, I could get enough weight on it to right the 2000, scooping Adam up in the process. I could then swim round the back and haul myself in using the foot loop. Success!!!

The capsize practice did however highlight another kit problem. My personal buoyancy “up front” meant that my actual buoyancy aid never really fit right and always rode up when I was in the water. This marked the start of a LONG hunt for a buoyancy aid that fit me well enough to do it’s job properly.

This year I was also starting to help out more at Yeadon but still spent more time helping in the Galley than on the water.

 

Year 5: 2023

At the beginning of 2023, many of my original improver comrades moved onwards and upwards (Adam was now an Instructor), and improvers became more a space more focussed on those having just passed their level 2 course, and less about preparing to race. Whilst this was necessary, I felt like I was in neither camp. Not ready to move on but now recognised that I was further on the journey than the new faces arriving.

Halfway through the season, Improvers had a new “Leader”, and I volunteered to help out by running an Improvers WhatsApp group. I was really starting to enjoy the sessions, had started to make good friends, and definitely wasn’t looking forward to having to “move on”. The only way I could see to stay part of the group was to POSSIBLY start thinking about instructing… …and in a moment of questionable judgement I actually said this out loud, which, in hindsight, was like lighting a (very slow burning) touch paper.

In the Summer whilst storm bound on Laurin we trawled various chandleries trying out as many buoyancy aids as were available. Finally we found the Typhoon Amrok which was the only adult buoyancy aid I’ve seen that has leg loops. I kind of felt like a kid wearing it but it did do the job, didn’t ride up and made being in the water much more comfortable… it was also only £30.

This year I actually helmed in the Improvers’ Regatta and kind of did ok although I still don’t like helming while racing. I never did on big boats either so can’t see this changing any time soon although I’m actually not terrible at it…. We got some great results on our old Stella when I helmed when pregnant because I couldn’t do any other jobs on board.

I even asked Santa Clause for an Instructor Handbook that year, but every time I got to the list of skills I needed to pass pre-assessment I freaked out and couldn’t read any further. I was frustrated with myself and I did (more than once) consider ripping that page out!

 

Year 6: 2024

I must have done more “helping” at Yeadon Sailing Club in 2023 as come early 2024 Jackie had suggested that I attend an RYA regional training day for instructors and volunteers with her. Despite the fact that by now Patrick and I could now sail together without risking divorce, and I was even able to sail rudderless in our 2000, I still felt unbelievably anxious about attending the training day and sailing with other people… or single handed in a Pico. Our new “Improver Leader”, patient as ever, answered my endless questions with reassurance and in the end, I had an enjoyable day.

After some gentle “nudging” I was promoted to adult improvers “helper” rather than participant and was asked to start helping out in morning training too. Patrick and I signed up for a 2000 open event that included some training and in general 2024 was about trying to get to a position where I felt comfortable about Dinghy Instructor Pre-Assessment. I needed to feel OK in a single hander and found that a club Zest was kind of OK. My foot loop worked, so I now felt like I could sail in heavier winds without worrying as much about capsizing. We did try the loop in a Laser but sadly it didn’t work and I resigned myself to only sailing in open transomed boats.

Later in the year Patrick thought it would be a good idea to teach me to dry capsize and, feeling only slightly less self-conscious than previous years I agreed. I have (almost) fond memories of Patrick sitting on the end of the club pontoon like a gnome with a blue hat on, laughing at me even trying to capsize the Zest in the first place let alone right it again. Luckily it was a quiet Autumn Day and so I had very few club house spectators watching me slide into the water time and time again. Eventually I had managed to climb onto the centreboard, right the boat and climb in without swimming…. exactly one time. I was absolutely spent! I started to pay greater attention when the kids practiced…  and adults… I still can’t really do it now, and you know what… it doesn’t even matter!

At the end of the season, much to my surprise, I was handed me my Assistant Instructor certificate. It had been a good year!

Year 7: 2025

Despite the AI certificate I was still too anxious to actually sail at the RYA regional training day, opting instead to get my RYA First Aid certificate out of the way instead. I did feel more confident though, talking to instructors from other clubs about the recent changes Yeadon Sailing Club had made.

Yeadon is a small, friendly club on a small pond ,  “Yeadon Dam” or “Yeadon Tarn”, depending on which local you ask. It turns 100 in 2028, but back in late 2023 our membership secretary warned us bluntly that if we didn’t try something different, we might not make it that far. His suggestion was bold: a “pay what you can” structure.

Hundreds of people walk round the water every week and so the club is very visible to non-sailors, and it is on local bus routes which make it more accessible than other local clubs. What followed was an open, honest discussion about how we could build on that. In the end, we agreed to trial a low‑cost model for two years, with a review after one. No more individual memberships. Families would pay a £50 annual fee, and once they’d settled in, a monthly donation based on usage and affordability.

By the time I went to the Regional Training Day, the new structure had been running for a year, and I could talk with real confidence about how well it was working. While other clubs were worrying about dwindling numbers, Yeadon was thriving in a way I’d never seen before.

This year I felt there was now a little more pressure building to do my Dinghy Instructor Course and I was pleased to be somewhat off the hook as I would be away on Laurin on the dates of both the courses running at Yorkshire Dales in the Summer. I was still practicing the skills needed for pre-assessment whenever I was at Yorkshire Dales and not helping out with training. Patrick now prioritised helping me train over us racing together and I made steady progress, although I was still anxious in high winds and still couldn’t either dry capsize or get back in a dinghy without the help of my foot loop but at least I was now kind of comfortable hiking.

Eventually I bit the bullet and when the RYA bigwigs visited Yeadon Sailing Club I asked if using a foot loop would be a deal breaker for becoming a Dinghy Instructor. The consensus was that they couldn’t see a reason why not, but I was still worried. How could I demo a capsize drill as an instructor if I couldn’t do it in the “correct” way?

I was also nervous about being the last one in or first one out of a double hander. If I sailed with somebody more experienced than me it was simpler just to take the easy option of getting in first, and if I took any newbies sailing, I was so anxious about my weight rocking the boat and scaring them that I would always ask for somebody to help hold the boat so I could get in first.

What did improve was my belief in myself… that even if I was scared shitless, I could step into a boat, calm anxious trainees down and deliver some learning whilst keeping them safe and upright. Apparently, I was now viewed as a “safe pair of hands”. I also acted as an AI for Erica, our Sailing Principal at Yorkshire Dales and got great feedback.

Come June I was very aware that this year’s cohort of Dinghy Instructor Candidates were taking their pre-assessment. I kind of wanted to know if I was good enough and was mulling around the idea of offering to “make up the numbers” if there was an odd number of participants. We had guests staying with us and I was still very unsure so it was very last minute when I messaged Erica to see if it would be helpful to have another participant. She messaged me back immediately saying “yes please” and the next day I turned up to be asked if I was going to helm as well as crew… oh, ok… go on then!

The session was a really positive experience, and I got feedback from my fellow crew member that I had effectively “coached him through it”. However, although the day had been a massive confidence boost, I was still second guessing myself. The conditions had been perfect…. Would I have done so well (or even passed at all) if it had been more windy? And I was still worried about capsize recovery!

Despite all my worries, when bookings for the 2026 Dinghy Instructor Course went live I signed myself up…. although I was to question my sanity many times before the Summer of 2026.

 

Year 8: 2026

So it was all about to get real…. No turning back now, I was booked on to the DI course in July!

Adam had now got his Senior Instructor ticket and had taken over Adult Improvers, and instead of occasionally crewing for Steve on a Saturday morning when he was taking out newbies, I was assigned to help with the Stage 3 kids. Whilst Adult Improvers was very similar to the previous year, only with Adam putting his stamp on it, working with kids sailing single handers was completely new to me and I realised how much more I still had to learn. All the while I was still practicing my pre-assessment skills as officially, I needed to redo the assessment as it only lasts for a year…. and I was still worried about capsizing… and still not completely ok with windy days.

Yeadon was particularly challenging at the beginning of the year. I had a new to us Bahia to use as a teaching boat, the new payment structure meant we had more new beginners than ever before, and apart from the first week, every Tuesday night it seemed to be blowing a hooley.

Because Yeadon isn’t an RYA training centre, there isn’t the same rigid hierarchy around deciding whether it’s appropriate to go out on the water. I really felt the weight of that decision. I kept repeating to myself: Is it safe? Will it be fun? Will they learn something? And on more than one occasion, the answer to at least two of those questions was a firm “no”.

I was constantly second‑guessing myself. Was I being a wuss for not going out or scaling things back? Was I genuinely making the best call for the trainees, or was I just anxious about sailing in high winds? It took until nearly the summer before I felt confident in my decisions, and confident taking newbies out in the Bahia in slightly challenging conditions.

Whilst I was still feeling anxious about Yeadon, this year’s pre-assessment days were happening at Yorkshire Dales. On the second one, my son was doing the same thing that I had done…. taking part as an “extra” to prove to himself that he could do it. Whilst I was sat in the clubhouse, another club member commented that the DI qualification was being devalued and that it was no good if a qualified instructor was unhappy going out in certain wind strengths. I went home in tears and nearly cancelled my Instructor Course booking. I’m certain this person didn’t think for one second that I would be worried about sailing in heavy winds, in fact by this point many people at the club thought I was already an instructor anyway, but their words had a big impact.

I was now in the final run up to my DI course and I was planning what would be the best use of my time. I wanted to feel happier with my powerboating skills so signed up to do a Safety Boat course, along with helming at a youth traveller event. I also spent time with my head in the Instructor Handbook, figuring out the differences between double hander and single hander methods.

For the last two adult improver sessions before my course, Adam was away. In a rash moment I offered to deliver this training with a Senior Instructor in the background. This was a massive stretch and although the trainees had a great time and were very supportive and complimentary, I was in tears at the end of both days…..was I REALLY ready to be an ACTUAL instructor?

Helping Erica get the club ready for Inspection the week before the course I was still telling her “I still don’t feel ready” but in all honesty this was kind of changing… just as when I was introducing myself to the other candidates on the first day and I was doing my usual spiel of “I’m a yacht sailor who doesn’t like little boats that fall over”, I realised that I actually do like the little boats too…. Maybe not single handers so much, but I do really enjoy sailing double handers.

I was actually quite looking forward to the course in the end… not least because I had arranged to camp in my car up at the club…. a rare opportunity as a Mum to be able to focus on something just for me. I had done my homework and was well prepared. I’d bought myself some new kit including a new (more hard wearing) buoyancy aid that I had spent an insane amount of time modifying to add leg loops and straps to attach my VHF and knife to.

As soon as Erica started delivering the course I could see how well my friends had prepared me….. endless uncomfortable debriefs and whisky fuelled conversations on the phone before and after training had drip fed me all I needed to know. Coaching and questioning came naturally to me, and I began to feel confident. I took the hard option every time during the course…. Practicing getting into the boat last, and out first, because this was something I needed to be comfortable as an instructor. Explaining to my fellow trainees about the things I found hard but balancing this with helping them with areas they found challenging too.

Day 2 was always going to be tricky as we needed to do capsize drill in a Comet. No open transom so my assumption was that even with my foot loop, I was unlikely to be able to get back in. Erica was an absolute star and checked in on my while we were getting changed…. Told me I was a strong candidate regardless and reminded me that she had also spoken to RYA bigwigs, it really didn’t matter if I needed help to get back in… others did too! In the end we rigged my loop, realised getting in over the side with it might be easier, and then when we did the drill, I was able to get back in without assistance…. Absolute WIN!

From then on, the course continued to go well, I spent my evenings helping others if needed as well as doing my own “homework”.  Going into moderation day I felt confident and at the end of the week my feedback was fantastic. Like my friend said, “the only person that didn’t know I was ready was me!”